Pondhoppin': Heaven on Earth

Just like a Swiss watch (or a Federer forehand) the Swiss rail network executes its duty with unrivaled precision; and just as with a Swiss watch or a Fed forehand, Swiss rail passes are bloody expensive!

We landed in Geneva, hopped off the plane and after three trains, a bus and a gondola, we arrived at our mountain retreat, the lost-in-time village of Gimmelwald. In planning our trip to the Swiss Alps, our goal was immersion into authentic Swiss culture and the Alps lifestyle, and Gimmelwald provided what we were looking for in spades.

The only mode of transportation up to Gimmelwald...a gondola!

View from the gondola on our way up

...still going up!

Gimmelwald, the first stop on the gondola line up to the famous Schilthorn (007 himself spent quite a bit of time at the top filming Upon His Majesty’s Service), is a farming community of less than 130 people. The town managed to convince the Swiss government that it was nestled in an avalanche threat zone, which has prevented the town from becoming another big business ski resort like so many of its neighboring mountain cities. Why? No builders can obtain insurance!

We stayed with Walter, an 88 year old former Swiss Air chef, at his B&B at the top of the town. Walter is an amazing human being. 30 years ago, the local Gimmelwald council denied Walter’s request to prevent a local farmer from building a giant barn in front of his B&B, depriving his rooms on the first floor a full view of the Jungfrau mountain range (don’t worry, we were on the second floor). So, Walter, who had been paying quite a Swiss penny to the community through local taxes from his profitable hotel, decided the money would be appreciated more by another culture and began donating all of his B&B income (i.e., no taxable income) to supporting education in indigenous Indian tribes in Ecuador….Astonishing! Over $550,000 has been donated from Walter’s B&B thus far. Key takeaway: don’t f#ck with Walter!!

Tim, an Englishman IT executive who fell in love with Gimmelwald (and paragliding) now helps Walter run the joint. He told us the hotel has basically been run the same way for the last 40 years: 15 CHF (Swiss francs) dinners at the hotel for guests, but you have to ensure you let Walter know by 10am that morning so he can purchase the appropriate amount of food. There are two menus that are rotated….for the last 40 years!....: i) spaghetti with chicken and vegatable soup and ii) veal stew with rice and veggies. Switzerland is the most expensive country to eat in throughout all of Europe (primiarily driven by costs of labour, waiters are paid minimum 25 CHF per hour and you can imagine what the food growers/ranchers make), so a 15 CHF meal which includes all you can drink wine plus dessert is incredible. The price hasn’t changed in over 10 years.

It is such a rustic B&B, we shared a bathroom with the rest of the guests on our floor, of which there were none, and hot water showers cost 1CHF per five minutes. Greatness.

Our balcony view was not very impressive, it only stared directly out onto the gorgeous Jungfrau mountain range, the most beautiful view we have ever beheld.

The veal stew was phenomenal (need to start flying Swiss Air more) and Tim decided to eat dinner with us that evening so we were regaled with stories of local legend as well as with videos of his buddies paragliding and base jumping.

Anyways, enough about the hotel. After I had sherpa’d our bags up the steep ascent (seriously steep. Seriously. It was a shock to the system after my 7 month vacation eating and workout routine, zero, in London) to Walter’s hilltop chalet, we strapped up our Swiss Alps Specials (Nike running shoes and in my case, very holey Nike running shoes) and began exploring immediately. Or, almost immediately.

First stop, terrace bar at the local pension for a refreshing bier. After imbibing our beer and discussing the vertical jumping ability of the local chickens (don’t ask) with Barnaby our waiter, we put our olefactory senses to work and managed to find a local cheese house (actually recommended to us by Barnaby, which is a super sweet name).

We rang the doorbell on what appeared to be a normal Gimmelwald house and a little old Swiss man popped his head out of the upstairs window and literally yodeled out, “ya, alo! you here for da cheeeeez?!”

“Yaaaaa!” was our reply and moments later a little old Swiss woman, no doubt the wife of the little old Swiss man, was walking us through her living room on the way to her cheese room! Unreal, we literally walked right in front of her family having yodeling practice (fine, Kristin is forcing me to tell the truth, they were just eating lunch. But how sweet would that have been!!).

So, in the summers, the cows of the village are driven (think cattle drive style) up to higher altitudes while the farmers grow their hay for the coming winter months. At these high altitudes, cheese is made everyday and cable car’d down to the owners in Gimmelwald. Ericha, our gracious cheese sommelier, gave us a full palette tour, cutting slices of many different vintages of the local cheese.

It was delicious. We brought a bit air-sealed home with us to London, so the first couple guests we have will get to enjoy with us! Yes, that is a giant carrot on a stick folks.

Gimmelwald is a very special place; because modernization has seemed to pass this place by in its relentless march forward, you see things in Gimmelwald that you likely have never seen before. Like a cow wagging its tail and running down a mountain slope to give his owner Eskimo kisses when he arrives! Tell me you have seen something like that before!! TELL ME! YOU CAN’T!!!

I can tell you one thing I’ve never seen before, a goat smiling at my wife from a few feet away only to turn his head directly at the camera the instant before I took a picture as if he was posing. I kid you not, this happened at least five times in a row. WHAT?!

In all seriousness, and not to be too green party, but there is a unity between man, animal, earth and sky in Gimmelwald that is both infectious and humbling. And rejuvenating.

**Gimmelwald in pictures...they speak for themselves!

This sweet cat followed us for a good mile or so

Europe's first unattended self-service village shop...The Honesty Shop! How cool is this?

Hiking to the waterfall

As most of you know, Grant and I would eat fondue every night of the week, if only our waistlines could handle it. So, when in Switzerland, the true originator of cheese fondue, we were determined to find the best fondue in town. All-knowing Tim led us to The Belmont hotel up in Murren (a short gondola ride, or 30-min up-hill hike - our preferred route - from Gimmelwald). And was Tim spot-on...not only a spectacular view, but the most amazing fondue we have ever had (and we've had a lot!).

The Belmont Hotel's outside dining space

Grant's artsy picture

My mouth is watering right now just looking at this deliciousness

So romantic

After dinner, we proceeded to walk the 30-min downhill to Gimmelwald...in the pitch black, with only the lights of the stars guiding us. I have never seen so many stars in my life, truly a special moment.

Schilthorn...

Grant contemplating whether or not we should make the hike down

Most of what we did is captured in the pictures, but the paragliding adventure deserves a bit of time.

So after consuming our customary PFB (pre-flight beer), Kris and I met our guides as they exited the gondola and we followed Dino and Ralf up the hill from Murren to our runway.

We arrived at the top of our runway to see a paragliding school was already up there prepping to take off. Unfortunately, the wind and rain was blowing in the wrong direction at the moment so we were all on hold. Ralf, Dino, Kris and I found some shelter under a few trees on the side of the hill and kicked back to hang out until the weather improved.

After about five minutes, the paragliding school instructor became impatient and decided the conditions were satisfactory enough for his students to take-off. This turned out to be a gross overestimation of his students' abilities!

He took off first and everything went fine, but his first student (who we found out was this instructor's girlfriend) was not so lucky. She sprinted down the runway, momentarily disengaged from the ground as the parachute caught partial wind and then proceeded to slam back into the earth head first and be dragged about 50 meters down the mountain, coming to a halt literally five feet away from a giant barn.

Kristin and I just slowly turned toward each other in silence, both of our faces registering that "holy sh$t, what did we get ourselves into" look!

Well, the wind finally changed and Dino and I managed to take off without a hitch! It was only when we got to the bottom of the valley that I found out Kristin's parachute had twisted on take-off and they had to abort once and do it all again! What a tough-minded girl!!!

It was an amazing experience, as flying always is. A few of the in-flight pics, and two videos below.

PFB in Murren...here goes nothing!

This was going to be us in a few minutes...nerves kicking in, right about now!

View of Murren from our "runway"

The infamous barn, smack dab in the middle of our take-off route...yes, we were warned SEVERAL times to stay clear of this barn...if I wasn't nervous enough already!